More on trust: Who deserves yours?

Written by Harish Rao on Thursday, 02 November 2017. Posted in Relationships & network

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In one of my earlier blogs, I had written about trust. I had also written that it's an ongoing investigation/ research for me.  

My colleague Michelle, told me once that she does not trust people that don't trust themselves. I have been thinking about this conversation. What is the correlation between a person trusting him/herself and earning other people's trust?  

Having reflected on this for a while now, I think I have some new insights on what this whole trust thing is all about.  

As usual, I would like to commence with the definition of trust.  

1.Assured reliance on character, ability, strength or truth of someone or something; 

2.One in which confidence is placed.  

When I went back to Merriam - Webster dictionary, I realized that I made a big mistake with the definition of trust in my previous blog. I did not see the emphasis placed on "assured" in the dictionary. So, now I look at the definition with a new perspective.  

Merriam - Webster dictionary defines "assured" as follows: 

1.Characterized by certainty or security;  

2.Guaranteed.  

This brings up the following questions: 

1.How can trust be characterized by certainty or security?  

2.Can trust be guaranteed? 

Then the following struck me: 

Trust is intangible. The meaning differs from the person who gives it and the person that receives it.  

For example, when I lend a book to someone, I trust that he or she reads and returns the book. For the person that borrowed the book from me, trust may take on a different meaning. He or she may think that I trust that they read the book and maybe, not lend it to somebody else. They may also think that I trust them enough to safe keep the book until they are ready to return it.  

This trust issue has everything to do with communication. Would it not be easier if we communicated our expectations (trust?) clearly to others to avoid confusion? How can we do this? I have no answers to this at the moment.  

 Last week I had a conversation with my colleague Vanessa where she was quizzing me on some decisions that I made recently. At one point in the conversation, I told her that a) she knows me very well, b) I have always considered all aspects before making a decision and c) she should trust me on it.  

 So, what did I tell her really? I said that she needs to trust me as I am putting my credibility at stake when I am made the decision. The problem is that I think I have an incredible credibility with her. But, does she think I have the same incredible credibility? Would she trust me on my decision? Of course, being the loyal friend that she is, she will back me on a decision I make but, will she trust me in making the right decision? 

 Hahaha! I just opened a can of worms for myself. I need to go back and talk to her one of these days. But, I am happy that I am getting somewhere on this topic.  

 This research is ongoing. I still haven't gotten to the bottom of it. But, it's keeping me sprightly. 

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