Successful dating: How to date up instead of down

Written by Harish Rao on Monday, 27 March 2017. Posted in Relationships & network, Self development

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DISCLAIMER: I am not a psychologist! I am not a relationship expert! I am not big in this he dating game either. ( in fact, quite some times, I don't know how to handle women?)

I have many women friends who happen to be single. One of the constant refrains that I hear is that it's very difficult to get good guys. When I say "good", it could mean smart, handsome etc.

This got me thinking about why this could be. And I had an epiphany! Where do singles go to mingle? They go to singles bars or bars filled with people much like themselves. What do you expect happens? They meet people very much like them, people in the same status stratosphere.

In a lot of cases, your work colleagues are the people that you go for a drink or lunch with frequently. Not only do you spend 40 hours plus with these people, you end up frequenting a bar with them. Who do you expect to meet on these occasions? People in similar income levels, thinking levels, and success levels.

Let's take the restaurant industry, for example. Let's say you work as a non management staff at the restaurant. You work long hours with people in your income level. After the restaurant closes, you want to relax. What do you do? Go for a couple of drinks with them to another bar. Who do you talk to at the other bar? Chances are that you know the bartenders or the waiters in the bar. So, you end up talking to them. Now, by the time you hit this bar it's already past midnight after which you spend 2 to 3 hours in the bar. You finally collapse in bed around 4 PM? By the time you wake up, you just have sufficient time to get back to work?

Now after listening to this, tell me what are your chances of ever getting a "good" mate? You will invariably end up with a person similar to you?

Now let's go back to the rule of 5. Who are the 5 people that you spend the most time with? Your restaurant coworkers??. What do you think your average income per month would be? Similar to theirs? Who do you think you will end up in a relationship with? Somebody similar?

Of course, there are always exceptions to this rule! But, I would love for you to look at yourselves and people around you and see whether I am right?.

In the book, the millionaire mind by Thomas Stanley and William Danko, they talk about this phenomena. They recommend that you should meet people not in your own stratosphere but, in a better one. They recommend people to socialize in, a charity organization, a church or a chamber of commerce if you want to get a "good" guy/ gal. When you compound this with the rule of 5, I think it makes perfect sense!

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