When you feel something is missing #1

Written by Varouna Baroud on Friday, 08 December 2017. Posted in Self development


Photo by Renata Fraga on Unsplash

So. You have done everything that was expected.
You followed your heart. You worked hard. 
You invested in creating stability around you.
You are kind to other people and you have tons to offer.
But somehow you still ended up here: At a point in your life where you can no longer ignore the feeling that something is missing. 

Somehow you ended up in this situation that makes you feel stuck. What crept up on you as a vague void, slowly took over your heart and now there is no denying: You are not happy with where you are. You feel stuck.

Of course, you put on a brave face. And why shouldn’t you, there is nothing really wrong. You seemingly have everything you need. Objectively you are reasonably successful.

But on the inside, you have that gnawing feeling that something is missing. A growing restlessness because there is that 1 thing that is just not working out the way you want. You can’t pinpoint when it happened exactly but now it is there all the time. That debilitating sense that you passed the point that everything was still open and possible. You can literally feel time breathing down your neck and the pressure to make it happen now is weighing on your chest.

Although you don’t like to admit it, you are approaching a point of wanting to give up hope that it ever will happen. The feeling of doubt has already started to overflow to other parts of your life. At the quiet moment, you find yourself asking what possibly happened that you ended up here.

What certainly doesn’t help, is everyone around you seem to have it covered. And you really do want to be so happy for them. So you smile. Congratulate your friend on the next promotion. Like all the cute newborn and baby pictures on Facebook. Admire that shiny engagement ring. Send happy faces and thumbs up in the group apps with friends you can no lo longer seem to relate to. You smile and shrug after every: “How is it possible that you are still single?” You sit out well-meant advice like “You just need to learn how to be happy alone first” (when you have been single for 7 years).
You try to give a polite answer to the unavoidable “But...Don’t you want kids/a house/ steady job/fill in....” You respond appreciatively to supportive comments like “You are so smart, you will find something soon.”

But you don’t want just something. You want the perfect thing. And you want it now. That dream job. The fulfilling career. The loving relationship. The happy family. Fulfilling friendships. The vibrating social life. Making a real difference. The more people try to comfort you, the more impatient you become.

Why is it happening for everyone else? Why not for you? What are you doing wrong?

missing 3

When this is you and you are reading this article hoping to get some magical tips to make those painful feelings disappear: brace yourself, you are going to be disappointed. There is no quick fix for what you are experiencing because this is simply what life’s about.

There is no 4 step guide to the perfect life. There is no way around disappointments and loss. And if the ” 7 tips for making 70.000$ a month while traveling” tips were actually working, don’t you think everyone would do it? Reality is this: All the motivational quotes and inspiring Ted Talks are not going to fill the emptiness or erase the longing you feel inside you. That is the bad news. The good news is that there are things that you can do, that will help you stay motivated and positive, even when life currently not seems to turn out the way you wanted too.

In the next blog, we will share our tips on how you can work towards what you want, to deal with these feelings you and to add meaning to the life you have now.

The first step? Realize you are not the only one in this! It might seem like everyone around you has it all figured out but when you start paying attention, you will realize there are so many people like you, struggling with the same issues.

In the African Ubuntu philosophy, it is said that even in your loneliest moment, there is someone in this world, that is feeling just as lonely and just as lost you are. And because they believe all people are connected, you can find comfort in that idea because it means you are not really alone.

Feel like something is missing too but want to do something about it? Read " When something is missing # 2- 7 tips to get unstuck


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